Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Non Babies are Money Savers

It's amazing how much easier it is to be not having a baby, than the alternative.  I mean for a start, your favorite Levi's are always going to fit.  You're never going to have to bid your feet goodbye till you can see them again, unless of course, you suddenly find yourself stranded in a cupcake shop and have to eat your way out, in which case, I want your life!

Anyway, planning for your non baby is just so much less restricting than for an actual infant, that's all I'm saying.

For example, feeding a non baby is easy and cheap.  No special formulas (formulae?) with the correct vitamins and nutritional input are necessary, no strained veggies and zombie flesh colored purees, to boost the immune system in your little toothless wonder.  Having a non baby means freedom at the supermarket.  Because your non baby can eat anything.  Anything.  This facilitates things substantially.  Instead of expensive baby formulated tins of food, you can buy those 19 cent packets of noodles, like generic Ramen.  Or real Ramen if you're fancy and have 30 cents to spare.  Mmmmm MSG.  What non baby doesn't adore it?  You can feed a non baby anything you want frankly;  old cabbage, odor eaters, vodka - they'll never complain or even suffer for it.  In fact, you don't have to feed it at all!  I know, right?  Who wouldn't want that!

Also, added bonus, you can call it something like "Aloysius" without fear of bullying or ridicule.

1 comment:

  1. Hey, my brother-in-law's is named Aloysius! Funny.