What's that? Cute you say? Not the word I'd use. Where you see an adorable, little, pink bundle made of rainbows and the breath of unicorns and colored by a flush of pride and wonder because you made that from your own sticky fluids, I see this:
Because let's face it, all babies look sort of like moonshine-soaked, inbred mountain dwellers in a horror movie until they're at least 2 years old. And your baby? No exception. Sorry. In fact, have you ever seen a turtle without its shell?
Yep. Your baby.
But it's okay. It's not just your baby. It's all babies. It'd even be my baby if I had a baby. They're all tiny, fat, bald mutants with no teeth or social skills, so ask me again if I think he's cute, when he reaches his fifth birthday and doesn't nod his giant bobble-head like David Hasselhoff at an open bar and I'll be happy to re-evaluate.
I can see this is going to be a goo-cop, bwah-cop situation! :-D
ReplyDeleteAn issue this important needs some balance.